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Pegging your self worth


At different points in our life, we can find ourselves pegging our self worth to arbitrary measures without realizing it. Our self worth is a composite index  – a weighted average of how we feel about various things. At different points of time, we may overweight indicators such as the approval of a tough boss, the desire to get a fancier title, the costly car or bag, the sought after job or home or even the average number of likes on your social media updates. I’ve come to realize that any lingering dissatisfaction I have is simply a result of unconsciously pegging it on the absolute wrong indicator. David Foster Wallace, in his incredible speech, “This is Water” said it beautifully. Because here’s something else that’s true. In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of God or spiritual-type thing to worship-be it J.C. or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles-is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things-if they are where you tap real meaning in life-then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already-it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power-you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart-you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on. Look, the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful; it is that they are unconscious. They are default-settings. They’re the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that’s what you’re doing. And the world will not discourage you from operating on your default-settings, because the world of men and money and power hums along quite nicely on the fuel of fear and contempt and frustration and craving and the worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom to be lords of our own tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default-setting, the “rat race”-the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing. These paragraphs beautifully lead to three lessons I’ve learned about self worth. First, consciously examine what you peg your self worth to. Second, do your best to peg your self worth on powerful principles/truths. And, third, expect to check in with yourself from time to time as you will slip. Let those slips strengthen your resolve to live a principled life. Share this: Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Like this: Like Loading... Related https://alearningaday.com/2017/12/25/pegging-your-self-worth/

Cyber Monday 201742


The Oatmeal Cyber Monday Sale Use discount code CYBER25 and get 25% off your entire order Exploding Kittens - Party Pack Edition A new expanded version that supports up to ten players. It also plays party music, in case that's your thing. This product is not available on Amazon! Normally $30.00 HOLIDAY PRICE: $22.50 View Party Pack Source: http://theoatmeal.com/blog/black_friday2017

Multiplicative Idiocy1


Want to print this out and hang it up? Download the free PDF. Further reading (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v2.5&appId=122125307879498"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk')); The Oatmeal Share this   Latest Things Random Comics Browse more comics >> Home Comics Blog Quizzes About Contact All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2016 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www."); document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E")); try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-9487849-1"); pageTracker._trackPageview(); } catch(err) {} Source: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/idiocy

Being Direct1


I saw The Gotham Gal’s reply to an email this morning that we were both copied on. I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was something like “I understand, but no.” No beating around the bush, no letting down softly, just complete and total honesty about where our heads are at on something. She has taught me this lesson consistently over our almost forty year relationship. I have a tendency to be too nice and leave people with an unclear view of where I am at. I’ve gotten much better at this over the years as the pain of leaving things hanging has taught me this very important point. Being clear and direct with people, even if it means upsetting them, is better than being nice and leaving them confused. Seeing that email reminded me of that and the next hundred emails I replied to got a very direct answer this morning. http://avc.com/2018/01/being-direct/

Being Direct1


I saw The Gotham Gal’s reply to an email this morning that we were both copied on. I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was something like “I understand, but no.” No beating around the bush, no letting down softly, just complete and total honesty about where our heads are at on something. She has taught me this lesson consistently over our almost forty year relationship. I have a tendency to be too nice and leave people with an unclear view of where I am at. I’ve gotten much better at this over the years as the pain of leaving things hanging has taught me this very important point. Being clear and direct with people, even if it means upsetting them, is better than being nice and leaving them confused. Seeing that email reminded me of that and the next hundred emails I replied to got a very direct answer this morning. http://avc.com/2018/01/being-direct/